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- Name:
- Joe Murphy
- Sex:
- whenever possible
- Home:
- Fairbanks, AK
- Height:
- 5 feet 7 inches
- Eyes:
- brown
- Hair Color:
- brown with too much gray
- Nicknames:
- none
- Pen Names:
- Bic, Schaffer, Ritepoint
- Favorite TV Show:
- Futurama
- Favorite Board Game:
- chess
- Favorite Magazine:
- Altair
- Favorite Smell:
- burning grass
- Favorite Salad Dressing:
- blue cheese
- Worst Feeling in the World:
- being impaled on a spike while demons chew on my genitals
- Biggest Fear:
- flying
- Best Feeling in the World:
- selling a story
- Favorite Things to do on Weekends:
- what are weekends?
- Favorite Soundtrack:
- Jerry Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds
- What is the first thing you think of when you wake in the morning?:
- I'm still alive!
- You can't start the day until you:
- purge my mind of demons
- Do you get motion sickness?:
- yep
- Have you ever gone skinny dipping?:
- yep
- Do you make fun of people?:
- only when they have no chance of finding out and being hurt.
- Roller Coasters --Deadly or Exciting?:
- deadly
- Pen or Pencil:
- neither
- How many rings before you answer the phone?:
- one
- Future son's name:
- Yog Shoggoth
- Future daughter's name:
- Cthulhu
- Favorite foods:
- Orange Beef
- Do you get along with your parents?:
- One's dead so it's a lot easier now.
- Have you ever been convicted of a crime?
- nope. Seldom caught and I'm a good talker.
- Favorite Ice Cream:
- Cherry Garcia
- Croutons or Bacon Bits:
- both
- Do you like to drive?:
- it beats flying
- Thunderstorms -- Cool or Scary:
- Cool
- What kind of car was your first car?:
- 59 VW bug
- If you could meet one person, dead or alive, who would it be?:
- HP Lovecraft
- Favorite Alcoholic Drink:
- Peppermint Schnapps
- Who is your favorite poet/author?:
- Thomas Ligotti
- Do you eat the stems of broccoli?:
- I'll eat damn near anything that won't eat me first.
- One pillow or two?:
- it depends on whether I have to share
- Favorite Color:
- Crimson
- If you could have any job you wanted, what would it be?
- Clarion Instructor 2005
- If you could dye your hair any color, what would it be?:
- anything without gray
- If you could have a tattoo, what and where would it be?:
- I have five already. Say wouldn't a Clarion Tattoo be a great idea?
- Have you ever been in love?:
- yes
- What is on the walls in your room?:
- A Tool poster, a picture of a scorpion, dirt
- What's on your mouse pad?:
- the mouse, my hand
- What's on your monitor?:
- a picture of the planet Saturn
- Is the glass half empty or half full?:
- you mean I wasn't supposed to drink it?
- What is your favorite Snapple?:
- Add alcohol and it doesn't matter.
- Favorite Movies:
- The Naked Lunch, Gothic, Natural Born Killers, Silence of the Lambs, War of the Worlds
- Are you a Righty, a Lefty, or Ambidextrous?:
- Righty
- Do you type with your fingers on the right keys?
- hopefully
- Pets:
- Dogs, Lovecraft, Lafferty, Dickens.
- Cats, Plato, Kafka, Sagan
- Favorite Type of Music:
- techno, industrial, space music
- If you could be one gardening tool, what would you be?:
- I'm a hoe.
- If asked nicely, you'd admit to knowing about:
- Teaching Special Education
- You can probably be bribed with:
- make me an offer
- What is under your bed?:
- Hell itself
- What is your favorite number?:
- 23
- What is your dream car?:
- anything with 4 wheel drive and a loud tape deck.
- Hobbies:
- computer games, running, weight training, skijoring
- Toothpaste:
- hopefully
- Favorite town to chill in:
- LA
- Favorite Drink (Non-Alcoholic):
- what's the point
- Adidas, Nike, or Reebok:
- Nike
- Favorite perfume/cologne:
- patchouli
- Favorite Web Site:
- Mains Death Domain, Gothic.net
- Favorite Subject in School:
- Band
- Least Favorite Subject:
- Algebra
- What do you look for in the opposite sex?:
- At my age I don't look anymore. I just take what I can get.
- What is your favorite sport to watch?:
- Marathon running.
- You would most like to be adopted by which Clarion instructor?:
- Sam Delany
- In the Clarion yearbook, you will probably be voted the boy/girl most
like to:
- ascend to Nirvana
- If you could bring only one reference book to Clarion it would be:
- The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft--Kathyrn Paulsen
- No one would guess that you had written:
- five bad novels
- When folks get to Clarion, they should look for you. You will be the
one:
- slumped in the corner with a glazed look in me eye.
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