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Name:
Joe Murphy
Sex:
whenever possible
Home:
Fairbanks, AK
Height:
5 feet 7 inches
Eyes:
brown
Hair Color:
brown with too much gray
Nicknames:
none
Pen Names:
Bic, Schaffer, Ritepoint
Favorite TV Show:
Futurama
Favorite Board Game:
chess
Favorite Magazine:
Altair
Favorite Smell:
burning grass
Favorite Salad Dressing:
blue cheese
Worst Feeling in the World:
being impaled on a spike while demons chew on my genitals
Biggest Fear:
flying
Best Feeling in the World:
selling a story
Favorite Things to do on Weekends:
what are weekends?
Favorite Soundtrack:
Jerry Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds
What is the first thing you think of when you wake in the morning?:
I'm still alive!
You can't start the day until you:
purge my mind of demons
Do you get motion sickness?:
yep
Have you ever gone skinny dipping?:
yep
Do you make fun of people?:
only when they have no chance of finding out and being hurt.
Roller Coasters --Deadly or Exciting?:
deadly
Pen or Pencil:
neither
How many rings before you answer the phone?:
one
Future son's name:
Yog Shoggoth
Future daughter's name:
Cthulhu
Favorite foods:
Orange Beef
Do you get along with your parents?:
One's dead so it's a lot easier now.
Have you ever been convicted of a crime?
nope. Seldom caught and I'm a good talker.
Favorite Ice Cream:
Cherry Garcia
Croutons or Bacon Bits:
both
Do you like to drive?:
it beats flying
Thunderstorms -- Cool or Scary:
Cool
What kind of car was your first car?:
59 VW bug
If you could meet one person, dead or alive, who would it be?:
HP Lovecraft
Favorite Alcoholic Drink:
Peppermint Schnapps
Who is your favorite poet/author?:
Thomas Ligotti
Do you eat the stems of broccoli?:
I'll eat damn near anything that won't eat me first.
One pillow or two?:
it depends on whether I have to share
Favorite Color:
Crimson
If you could have any job you wanted, what would it be?
Clarion Instructor 2005
If you could dye your hair any color, what would it be?:
anything without gray
If you could have a tattoo, what and where would it be?:
I have five already. Say wouldn't a Clarion Tattoo be a great idea?
Have you ever been in love?:
yes
What is on the walls in your room?:
A Tool poster, a picture of a scorpion, dirt
What's on your mouse pad?:
the mouse, my hand
What's on your monitor?:
a picture of the planet Saturn
Is the glass half empty or half full?:
you mean I wasn't supposed to drink it?
What is your favorite Snapple?:
Add alcohol and it doesn't matter.
Favorite Movies:
The Naked Lunch, Gothic, Natural Born Killers, Silence of the Lambs, War of the Worlds
Are you a Righty, a Lefty, or Ambidextrous?:
Righty
Do you type with your fingers on the right keys?
hopefully
Pets:
Dogs, Lovecraft, Lafferty, Dickens.
Cats, Plato, Kafka, Sagan
Favorite Type of Music:
techno, industrial, space music
If you could be one gardening tool, what would you be?:
I'm a hoe.
If asked nicely, you'd admit to knowing about:
Teaching Special Education
You can probably be bribed with:
make me an offer
What is under your bed?:
Hell itself
What is your favorite number?:
23
What is your dream car?:
anything with 4 wheel drive and a loud tape deck.
Hobbies:
computer games, running, weight training, skijoring
Toothpaste:
hopefully
Favorite town to chill in:
LA
Favorite Drink (Non-Alcoholic):
what's the point
Adidas, Nike, or Reebok:
Nike
Favorite perfume/cologne:
patchouli
Favorite Web Site:
Mains Death Domain, Gothic.net
Favorite Subject in School:
Band
Least Favorite Subject:
Algebra
What do you look for in the opposite sex?:
At my age I don't look anymore. I just take what I can get.
What is your favorite sport to watch?:
Marathon running.
You would most like to be adopted by which Clarion instructor?: 
Sam Delany
In the Clarion yearbook, you will probably be voted the boy/girl most like to:
ascend to Nirvana
If you could bring only one reference book to Clarion it would be:
The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft--Kathyrn Paulsen
No one would guess that you had written:
five bad novels
When folks get to Clarion, they should look for you. You will be the one:
slumped in the corner with a glazed look in me eye.
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